There's a MR BIG in my life too...
Mr. Big. The name says it all. From the moment we met up for a short coffee date, he was larger than life, cute, and for some oh-so unattainable.
But what do i really know about Mr. Big? This man of mystery has tried to keep me at arm's length, but i've managed to figure out a few things.
Let's start with his undeniably positive traits. Big is the quintessential man in my book. He loves dance music while working hard, jazz and classical music on a lazy weekends - it embodies the cool, suave attitude that he exudes. His irresistible smile and teasing monobrows are appealing - In fact, his unpredictable behavior and passion constantly stirs the drama-seeking soul of mine.
And of his "other" traits, the ones that make him harder to define? He's extremely successful, but what exactly is his lucrative profession? He has an affinity for asian women, with long hair and great nails.
With Big, though, it's the traits that frustrate me most that i am most drawn to. He does care, and he does love, but i knew it will never be that simple.
There is an elusiveness to Big that most women have encountered at some point in time. He made me feel and believe that i can get into his heart. That i will be the one to break through, and capture his affection for eternity - perhaps i did or maybe not, but i know i've fucked it up and never quite get through. The potential for his friendship was enough to sustain me for a while, but i can only endure so much ambivalence and heartbreak.
I can't quite separate myself completely from Big. Big was the one great one and perhaps the first real love i ever felt. In spite of the complicated past, he manages to be there before when i'm feeling scared or alone or just generally need some help professionally.
He told me he went back where he belongs - somehow knowing his proximity being near me before was comfortable - now i only wonder how he is.
One time, Big expressed some fear and his true feelings for some other girl, i cried telling him that i love him and i only want to see him happy. i already learned that waiting for Big to come around for good could be an impossible task.
He was the man that have swept me off my feet with his European charm, charisma and weird accent. He proved to be the man that will change everything i knew about sex, life and love.
He was almost perfect and I can't wait for the perfect one rightfully mine.
go on.. tell me, tell me about the one who got away...