intensity
when you reveal yourself so deeply, you run the risk of being seen just as deeply-- of being interpreted,of being talked about, over and over again. you do this. you ask for it. you are not allowed to complain.
but what do you do when they miss the point entirely?
people just read me differently.
i wasn't sure how to handle that word.
i am too intense.
i was told that that's one of the reasons why things won't work-- i'm too intense.
so, what did i think about that? automatically i thought, what could make me less intense, should i act stupid. should i be less dominant? should i compromise more? go with the flow?
things that i am not? for a moment i thought of changing myself for someone. just to get their approval, and maybe for a second would give me another glance over.
you tell yourself things like he didn't deserve me anyway and he will miss me when i'm gone, but what you're really thinking is that you thought you deserved each other and you miss him already.
i was mad at myself for investing in something i knew i'd never possess.
it took me awhile to realise that I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE FOR ANYONE.
take me as i am.
the funny thing, the absolutely fucking hilarious thing about it is that i have worked so hard to be who i am—to be who i am and like who i am.
to just be myself and believe that it is enough.
but with a few simple words and one disapproving look, it can ruin a lot things you know of yourself.
it took me awhile to realise that those who don't understand that about me doesn't deserve me at all. yes, i know it sounds selfish but sometimes you have to love and respect yourself before anyone else does.
i know that people are different, and i choose to be with people who could handle that intensity and challenge me back.
i respect them more that way.
It just hurts that i chose to share myself to people who doesn't appreciate that intensity.
have you ever changed yourself in some way, even the littlest thing to please someone?
was it worth it?